I Am
by SummerRed
Summary: When Caroline runs-from Klaus, from her thoughts, from herself-all three follow her no matter how hard she tries, but it seems that's just what she needs to figure out what it is that she really wants.


Don't own Vampire Diaries or its characters, though I do wish I owned Klaus.

Set just after Do Not Go Gentle, so spoilers up to there.

Hope you enjoy.

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**I Am**

Caroline Forbes was a busy person; she rarely had a day to herself, just relaxing, instead usually flittering from school to after-school activities to cheerleading to saving Mystic Falls from whatever supernatural threat was attacking that week, all by choice of course. Caroline Forbes was not one to procrastinate.

But now she was useless, a prisoner in her own home, courtesy of her mom who was clearly terrified she would go to school and never come back.

And so she had a week to herself, a week to "rest and recuperate" as her mom had put it.

She knew the real reason, of course she did, but it was total bull; she was no safer in her own home than she was in school.

Not from Klaus.

She turned on her side, her breath coming out in an irritated little huff as she stared out of her window, trying to banish him from her mind.

The thing was she really did want to tell her mom it was okay, that Klaus wouldn't try anything, wouldn't hurt or compel or kidnap her for whatever plan he was doing on that particular day.

But in reality, she couldn't promise that. Klaus was volatile and unpredictable, jumping from a charming gentleman to a raging sociopath, violent and full of bloodlust.

And she was pretty sure she was top of his hit list after the stunts she'd pulled, even if he had seemed fine dancing with her last night, if not a little annoyed at her continued faith to Tyler.

He knew nothing. He didn't know her. He didn't.

_I am restless._

She wanted to run. She hadn't in a long time; there was no point in training herself to get a personal best when she could run as fast as a bullet.

But for some reason, all she could think about was running; to run like she had before she'd become a vampire, run until it hurt, until her breath tore out of her, until she couldn't possibly go any further.

More than anything, she realised with a heavy heart, she wanted to run away.

_I am torn._

She could do it; pack up, book a train or plane or bus ticket, go and never look back. She could travel the world freely. She wouldn't want for anything-wouldn't need money-not with compulsion at her disposal. She could see cities she'd only ever dreamt of, meet new people, normal people, who didn't know about vampires or werewolves, sires or hybrids, the Originals or Salvatores, doppelgangers or Klaus.

She moaned to herself, frustrated, tired, entirely too awake.

Was that not exactly what he'd said? That she'd want more?

"Damn it," she muttered, caught between loathing and appreciation for him.

His scent was all over her. Not that she was complaining. He smelled pretty good for a thousand year old dead guy.

She paused in her Klaus-trail of thoughts, moving to an altogether more disturbing one; _did I actually just think that?_

The need to run intensified, blazed through her entire body, fuelling her weakened body with fire, the flames licking her insides, burning their way through her veins. She needed to clear her head. She would run.

She could get out of bed, just watch her.

And so she did, leaving her weariness tangled in her sheets, changing into a vest and leggings, praying her mom wouldn't come home before she got out the door.

And then she was, the cool air surrounding her, though it did nothing to calm her raging mind.

And so she ran.

_I am lost._

She knew vampires could run far and fast, though before now she had never experienced it herself, preferring to cling to her humanity, to stay as normal as possible.  
Even just now she hadn't thought much of it, her mind too busy dwelling on the mystery of Klaus, toying with the idea he may actually be capable of human emotions.

However, she did _not _know that vampires had no sense of direction.

But she thought maybe that was just her; Damon and Stefan had never had a problem finding people-Elena, always Elena-before.

She liked to think she was lost figuratively too. That was a nice little idea; poor Caroline Forbes, torn between her hybrid lover and the hybrid overlord. Not that she liked him or anything. But that feeling-not love, not like-made her feel lost, like a toy abandoned by a little girl.

She hated how selfish it made her feel that she wanted him to stay in Mystic Falls just for her.

Made her feel a bit pathetic too, if she was honest.

Hell was breaking loose in Mystic Falls-the Originals, the uncertainty about the bloodlines, Alaric, Tyler hiding his broken sirebond-and all she cared about was Klaus not leaving because she didn't know what she felt about him, only that the thought of him gone gave her a hollow ache in her chest, right where her heart used to beat.

_I am gone._

If it turned out she wasn't descended from his line-and she wasn't going to lie, she kind of wanted to be; she liked the idea of his blood being the one that had turned her, give or take a few hundred vampires (she didn't dwell on that bit), it made her feel a bit better about being turned, made her feel like maybe it was destined for them to be together(she tried not to dwell on this either), not that she wanted them to be together. Not that much anyway. She had Tyler. Sort of. When he felt like it. The dick-Klaus would die, Tyler (the dick) would too, and she didn't know what she'd do.

_I am alone._

What if she cared more about Klaus dying than Tyler? Could she? Maybe she was just pissed off. She felt pretty pissed off.

Or maybe it was that Tyler wasn't enough. Maybe it was that he loved her and she loved him but it just wasn't enough for either of them.

He would never leave Mystic Falls again, and there was no way she could stay.  
It was a trap enough already, to be stuck here forever was her idea of Hell.

How much had he done for her? He'd broken the damn sirebond for God's sake, she couldn't just leave him after that.

True, it had advantages for him too. But she had been his motivation.

She ran harder, the trees blurring around her, the wind whipping her hair, her breaths measured and steady, her feet pounding the ground rhythmically.

_I am alive._

Okay, so she loved Tyler but not enough. Definitely not forever.

God, he was going to kill her. Maybe he actually would kill her.

That might solve her problems.

No; not death, an end.

She would end things with Tyler. He was…poisonous, constantly turning on her no matter what she did, no matter how she showed her faith in him, reaffirmed her bond with him.

Then what?

Leave with Klaus?

That seemed a bit presumptuous. He had said he wasn't asking.

Maybe she could become a nomadic vampire for a few decades, then go find him.

That just sounded lonely. And sad-she was back to being pathetic.

"Shut up!" she screamed at herself, the constant tirade of thoughts becoming too much as she ground to a halt, dirt flying up behind her from the speed at which she had stopped.

"I thought I'd drop by, see how you were. Imagine my surprise to find your house empty, and now you screaming at trees."

If she still had the ability to blush, she would have. His voice was light, she could imagine his eyes were amused, yet she still felt as though this was some sort of test, something to see how she reacted.

_I am burning. _

And that feeling returned, the fire within her, her mind linking Klaus to running, running to freedom.

"I thought you were leaving?" she asked quietly, hoping to God her voice didn't shake.

She would not turn around. She would not.

Running with Klaus to freedom was suddenly all she wanted, the desire overwhelming, almost bringing her silent heart back to life with the intensity of it.

"So did I. I wanted to say goodbye properly," he said softly.

"Yeah…well. Bye."

Internally, she screamed at herself again.

"Caroline," he whispered, his voice caressing her name.

Damn it, she hated when he did that.

"Don't," she said shortly, ignoring how her hands trembled at her sides.

"Caroline, turn around," he breathed, and she could hear him coming closer, his steps sure but slow, gauging her reaction.

She closed her eyes, not even starting when he pressed his chest against her back, his hands resting light on her hips, his mouth at her neck, his breath ghosting over her skin.

He really did smell good. Damn him for that too.

"You said I wanted more," she said, and she hated that it sounded like a sob.

"Because you do. Why else would you be here?"

"I don't even know where I am," she half-laughed, tears suddenly falling from her eyes.

"You ran all the way to Canada. You're just across the border."

"Well, that's…good to know."

"You are here, with me, and you are ready. Take a chance, Caroline," he breathed, his lips skimming her skin.

She said nothing, turning in his arms, grabbing handfuls of his shirt, pulling him closer.

And then she kissed him.

It wasn't like her kisses with Tyler, filled with lust and passion and frenzy.

It was soft, gentle, with an undercurrent of emotion building in her chest. The kiss became deeper, more desperate, the two of them bearing their souls to one another, holding each other tighter, hands searching for bare flesh to touch, to revel in the contact of skin on skin.

He broke away, his eyes dark, gaze intent on hers.

"Come with me," he said softly, and his voice was unsure, unbalanced, uncertain. It wasn't an order, it wasn't even a request. It was a plea.

Instead of words, she kissed him, the action so much more meaningful.

But it was clear, so _clear_, with him here, his heart entangled with hers. It wasn't love yet, not just yet, but soon, oh so soon it would be, and it would last forever, she knew that and so did he. It wouldn't be easy, it wouldn't be safe, but it would be worth it.

As she would make him better so would he her.

_I am Caroline. _

With him, she knew who she was, and she knew she never needed to be anymore than that.

With him, she was what she always wanted to be.

He was Klaus and she was Caroline, and together they were more than both could have asked for.

_I am free._


End file.
